Be Still and Know

I'm not very good and being still and just letting life happen. I'm the type that's always in search of the next dream, the next challenge, the next distraction. I have ideas for why this is true about myself, but I won't divulge them here.

Becoming a nurse, moving to NYC, moving to Mexico, starting grad school, dropping out of grad school, going to medical school........ see a pattern? I don't regret any of the aforementioned and believe that each of them happened with a purpose, but my methodology may leave something to be desired.

In preparation for the MCAT in April, I've had some serious anxieties about the material that's required of me, largely due to the fact that I have not yet finished my pre-med requirements. On the advice of some friends of mine who are in their residencies, I could sit for the MCAT without having actually finished the courses that teach the material that will be covered on the exam. Sounds like a plan, I thought. Let's get the ball rolling. Get a prep course, sit for the exam, apply to medical school, get accepted, start medical school ASAP to get out ASAP and get on with my life ASAP. But why? Why is this country so obsessed with the end result? Why do we value forward progress above contentment? Why is waiting a year considered wasting a year?

After a lot of internal dialogue, prayer, and conversations with those closest to me, I think I've decided to slow it down a bit and do all of this at a more relaxed pace. It just make sense. There's no rush. I'm embarking on a serious journey, and it necessitates careful thought and adequate preparation on all fronts. Learning, absorbing, and applying new knowledge takes time. More time than the 12 weeks I was allowing myself. Additionally, I'm in a new relationship that needs me to be there, and asking him for something less was selfish, regardless of his willingness to sacrifice.

A dear friend prayed for me at church a few weeks ago, that my current study/class schedule would be somehow re-arranged to allow me to be at church each week. I have thought of that prayer often the last few weeks, and wondered if that's what's going on here. Through her prayer, God is opening my eyes and telling me to be still and know.

The words and the melody are both simple. I daresay that was not an accident.

Be still and know that I am God
Be still and know that I am God
Be still and know that I am God