Next to God, music is the thing that is nearest to me at all times in my life. I've got a song in my head all day, everyday, from morn til night. It's part of what makes me me. A co-worker once asked me, "Can't you ever stop singing?" The answer to that is no. The ceasing of my singing will signal my passing.
Music is my therapy. It's the way I decompress, veg out, connect to God, connect to other people or events. Whenever I return home from someplace I've been, from a particular experience, I continue to relate to said experience via the music associated with it. It helps me not go into withdrawal for the people or emotions that surrounded the experience.
The last two weeks I was in Virginia, I drove around in my dad's 3/4 ton extended-cab long-bed 4x4 pickup. It was freakin' awesome. A man's vehicle, no doubt. The songs I played continuously, that I'm playing as we speak, are Jars of Clay's "Redemption Songs" and "I Need You" by Tim McGraw and Faith Hill. They are the songs that connect me to my dad and to my brothers (who were in the pickup with me).
What's your method of connecting to past experiences? If it's music, feel free to share a few of the songs you've turned to.
4 comments:
I too sing all the time, sometimes without even be aware that I am singing. Most of the music I sing is church music, the hymns my mother sang to me. I am a nurse. One day, long ago now, I had just finished bathing a little old lady. I spent extra time doing her hair and making her pretty for the day. She was sitting in a chair while I changed her bed. As usual I was singing as I worked. The patient looked over at me and said,"Honey, when you were young I bet you could sing." That silenced me for the moment, but I still sing while I do my chores. Music is a powerful connection. Keep singing!
I used to sing all the time too. When I was at ACU I sang in some school groups and always enjoyed singing all the old C of C songs at devotionals and in church. I don't sing any more. The music and songs all died in my life long ago, but I miss it. To this day, though, I still find that accapella music will deeply touch me, even all these years after being dis-fellowshipped from "the church". My favorite song I think was Holy, Holy, Holy. ACU chapel used to sing it in a way that gives me chills just thinking about it, even today.
Brian,
I read your blog a few months ago, as it was linked on the blog an acquaintance of mine, and I've longed for the opportunity to speak to you.
I don't know that you will come back here, or that you will read this, but I want you to know that these people who turned their backs on you when you came out do not speak for God. They do not speak for all Christians either. There are many of us who long to have you in our midst, as you are. And who will help you get through the trials you are facing. And who have the will to love you even when you cannot find the will to love yourself. I pray that you will come and find us. You can sleep on my futon, and eat all my food. And meet an amazing group of people who are unlike any church I ever imagined.
Peace to you,
Casey.
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