some thoughts on the Holy Spirit

Over the past month, I have had some difficult, albeit necessary, conversations with my family regarding homosexuality and, in particular, my life as a gay Christian. We don't agree, as a whole family, on the issue of homosexuality and its place in the life of a Christian. The fact that we don't agree has caused me some stress, some worry, and some requests for prayer, because I have felt like eventual unanimity was very important.

In my Bible reading last week, I came to a new understanding of my decision and my family's decisions, which I will attempt to share here. It involves the Holy Spirit and its role in allowing, in fact demanding, us each to live out wholly the intricacies of our individual salvations. Let me explain.

We (Christians, my family) all believe in the same resurrection. However, our respective Christianities are going to look different beyond that. It wasn't for no good reason that I felt called to leave home and move to New York a few years ago. It was no accident that I came to a crisis point in my life which demanded me to make a decision on how to live out my sexuality as a man of God. My membership in CCfB was also not incidental. Quite the contrary. These events I attribute to the work of the Spirit. It has been the lived experiences of Nate Jones that have allowed me to arrive at my decision. This decision was crucial for my salvation. This issue, more than any other, consumed my life and necessitated a decision that has, in part, shaped my salvation and how I will proceed with my Christianity.

The Spirit didn't call my brothers or my parents to come to New York. It has called them other places, to wrestle with other things that are crucial to their respective salvations. It only now makes sense to me that everyone's salvation will look different because God has created each one of us as individuals, not clones. So, if someone's belief in homosexuality (or any other issue, for that matter) differs from mine, that's okay. If they are decidedly against it or are ambiguous about it, that's okay. For I know what I've decided for myself that is vital to my walk, that allows me to now be outwardly focused, that which is significant to my salvation. For others, they will have their own issues and struggles which are paramount in their salvations, which will be worked out in the course of their lifetimes.

In Philippians chapter 2, Paul writes, "...work out your own salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose." It is not on our own merit but by God, who gives us the ability, to decide what is good and right and then to act on it, according to our principles (paraphrased, Matthew Henry Commentary).

Let me add this: this line of thought can be a slippery slope. Critics may argue that suddenly anything can become permissible because it is "crucial to someone's salvation." Obviously, salvation is not something to be discussed nonchalantly or worked out cavalierly. We have to trust each other, as Christian brothers and sisters, that anything placed under the umbrella of salvation has been worked through in true pain. It is something that requires perseverent and painstaking care.

My new understanding does not completely absolve me or the church of its responsibility to continue difficult conversations. It does, though, allow for a degree of grace and permission to individualize the process of working out one's salvation.